Make My Bailout Check Certified

Can you make my bailout check certified please? With all the bailout checks I don,t want mine to bounce. With the Governors requesting 1 Trillion in bailouts and every industry under the sun requesting money. I think I am going to start an ink company. I will sell green ink to the Tresuary, red ink to the U.S. Budget department and black ink to Walmart and invisable ink to Bernard Madoff.Sincerely John Gerena